one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
No more Irish car bombs ever.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
