Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
