I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
