im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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