I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
