Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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