hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
