Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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