Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize