Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
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shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
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At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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