PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
