i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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