i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I will pee on everything he values.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
