I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
