Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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