it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
