Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
