garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
