Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
