Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
