I hate your face
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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