OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
