Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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