Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
