just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
