Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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