Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
