another moral hangover. fuck.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Dignity is for republicans.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
