Little spoons don't ask big questions
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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