Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
