I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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