my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
