even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
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you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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