yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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