On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
PANTIES FOUND
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