i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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