it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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