please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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