Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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