I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize
