Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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