If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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