I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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