We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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