I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
