During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
you're hired as official boob wrangler
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