Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
