let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
