haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
