I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I fill condoms, not promises.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
