I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize