The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize