Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize