quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
