You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
