i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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