i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
