The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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