Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
It's never too late to be topless.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm having to shit out rocks
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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