Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize