you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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