whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
