then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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