she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
